Why Are Hockey Players So Sexy? Here Is Your Answer…

Oh, come on. This is the go-to hot hockey player picture.

Let’s face it, even if you don’t watch hockey, the men that play the sport are some of the sexiest around. There’s some unmistakable allure about them that is hard to define, and I’m not just talking about their chiseled bodies or long sticks. I’m not a puck bunny; I don’t just want to have sex with or marry any random hockey player who scores. No, not at all – I appreciate the sport for what it is and I truly enjoy being a spectator. I’ve even recently become a player, and I intend to become a more serious participant, because it’s glorious. However, there is still something I just cannot ignore about the players on the ice. In these next few paragraphs, I will now explain the allure of a hockey player to a female fan.

First of all, let’s discuss the obvious and rather materialistic reasons: they’re rich and they have a good body. Every hockey player in the NHL is making at least a couple hundred thousand a year, which would make for a nice Christmas present. And don’t forget about the media coverage – you would be an instant star if you were the girlfriend of a top player. You might even have the chance to meet sexy movie stars depending on how classy your man is, which is a great option for meeting new lovers if you ever break up.

Look! Tuxedos just for reviewing game video. Imagine what a fancy dinner with you on their arm would  look like.

Also, no way they are going to have any flab or beer belly. Chances are they’ve got a rock hard six pack and bulging biceps that you won’t be able to fit your hands around. They are basically the model physique of what a human being should maintain. Plus, they will all be at least 5’10” tall (unless they are a midget like St. Louis), which is great for those of us who love a tall dude. Lastly, they dress really nice, pretty much all the time. And it looks good. These are all great things, really. Totally awesome, and I mean that in the original sense – a combination of traits so powerful that it is scary how perfect it sounds. But what I really like, and what is most important, comes on the inside.

To make it to the NHL level, every hockey player has to be motivated, passionate, and disciplined. I can’t think of any better qualities for a person to have, especially someone I would want to date. When I think of potential mates, people who work at McDonald’s and never did anything with their life are pretty much last on the list. NHL players are like the extreme opposite of this. Their passion guides them through life and makes them a better person, and this is something I yearn for in my own life. They know who they are and they are proud of it. They have made their dreams come true, and nothing is more admirable.

To go even further, most hockey players are just really nice guys. Take a look at any other professional sport. There are an overabundance of wife beaters, rapists, druggies, and even murderers. Now I’m not saying the NHL is squeaky clean, but generally, it seems like they just imbue a higher moral standard. Hockey players are always out helping the community, donating their time and money, and even founding organizations to help the sick or needy. It’s hard to see that kind of commitment in any other collective group of famous people – athletes or not.

Commitment. Drive. To think, if a hockey player showed one ounce of the commitment and drive they show to their sport to their wife, that would last a lifetime. Hockey players are all about being the best they can be, and working together as a team. They have an unspoken bond with all of their teammates, a brotherly compassion for everyone with whom they skate. Imagine if they could have that same type of bond with their romantic partner. In one word, it would be intense. And I’d like to think everlasting, just as their love for their sport is everlasting.

After reading all of this, you may still think me stupid, floozy, or shallow. But I’d like to think I have proven the hotness of a hockey player beyond the physical “puck bunny” sense.